Sep Nullachtfünfzehn and co.

Short stories, fan fictions, and lots of insanity

The Hotel Europe

Hey!

Its me, Olaf!

Imagine if Europe was a Hotel. Germany would be the hotelier, and Germany’s wife would be France. Turkey would be the Security Service for our main door and would block all of the 2 million people that want to come in. Britain, one of the best customers wants to check out, and the Hotel doesnt know if they should love him for that or kill them. By the way they are checking out because of the room service which it too “polish.”

The hotelier is currently ranting about Spain, who took something out of the minibar, but in Germanys opinion can’t afford it.

The kitchen is run by Greece. But Germany told them that cooking is way too expensive, and that they should privatise everything. Now the sunny outside area of the restaurant is a parking lot, on which no one wants to park because of the high prices. And the restaurant doesn’t sell tsatsiki or souvlaki anymore, but instead sells … well… nothing. The cook got fired because of the bad economy, so no one will ever eat anything in this restaurant. And all of this was ordered by the hotelier, who appearently has the control over something that is not his problem, and in which he has no idea of what he is doing.

He reads the sign on the hotelier’s desk which says : ” HIER WIRD DEUTSCH GESPROCHEN!” (German is spoken here)

Someone is calling. It is Greece.

Germany: “Hello? Whom do I speak to?”

Greece: “Greece… our water pipe stopped pumping water.”

Ger: “OH yes thats correct. I turned it off.”

Gr:”W…why ?”

Ger: “You consumed too much water! We had to turn it off!”

Germany cuts off the call.

 

This small story should explain what really happens in the EU.

The average EU citizen is now asking himself: “Hmm… but where is my influence ?”

Let me explain! ( I will explain all that with the Austrian voting system. Most other systems don’t differ at all.)

 

OK!

I am voting for our parliament. Lets say i vote for party X. Party X wins and forms a gouvernment, which decides about its ministers. The minister we will follow is called “Josef”.  Josef is now sent to the EU council of ministers, where he decides about laws. Thats my influence! Over an indirect election, which decides a chancelor, who decides over ministers which are then sent to another parliament to decide. Wow. Do you think Josef remembers my influence? NO he doesn’t.

So the council makes laws? NO! They decide whether they agrre on the law-suggestions handed in by the EU commision.

How did you vote them? Not at all! The commision doesn’t need your influence!

This commision is elected by the EU council of ministers.

The only thing you directly vote for is the EU parliament, which can’t decide about suggested candidates for the commision. … Democracy?…

But the parliament has a secret superpower! It can beg the commision to suggest a set of laws. So the only democratic instance BEGS their own officials for a kind deed, which then has to be confirmed by the council and the commision.

 

Now there IS a really direct way of deciding something in the EU ! It is called Trilouge.

Thats a non official conference of the council, the commision and the parliament. Without any nasty democratic influence.

AND there still is another direct way! Just get in the ERT (the European Round Table of industrialists). In there are the CEOs of the 50 most important industry empires in Europe…

The ERT decides over… ahm … Economy, the € and about industrial provisions.

Democracy? NO.

Sincerely, Olaf

 

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One thought on “The Hotel Europe

  1. OMG THIS IS THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER READ IN MY LIFE, SERIOUSLY!

    Like

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